In General, we all have goals, or wishes, or dreams…. but in general many of us don’t know how to… or just don’t work work towards those as a reality. A friend said to me yesterday that… “Our society doesn’t teach us that living our dreams is possible. So, many people just live a mediocre life and ‘settle’ living to the minimum that they need to do to survive, but they never take a chance to live to their full potential” ….
I had to think about this for a bit… I don’t think I’ve ever felt that something truly in my heart that I wanted to do…. I couldn’t. I’ve always believed that if it’s meant to be for me… that I could do it. Now there is a difference in a dream vs a reality come true. For instance, I wanted to go to University, but being raised in a single parent family with a low income, the reality of being able to do this wasn’t as easy for me as for most. However…. because it was something that I really wanted, I made it happen. Classes were tough, I had to get loans and money was tight, but I worked part time jobs, spent sparingly, went to all my classes, worked hard, and graduated (by the skin of my teeth… but I did it). Dropping out or Failing was never an option for me. There was never a question as to if I could do it, the question in my mind was always how could I do it. Sometimes I surprise myself to think back to things that I’ve applied myself to and realize that I’ve never failed…. if I truly put my heart into it. There are some things that I may wish… or dream of… but that I don’t think are a reality, and therefore I won’t work for them. For example, becoming a millionaire as much as it would be a dream, doesn’t seem to be a reality for me, so it’s not something that I work towards. That is a decision that I make.
Now this makes me think more, are there people out there who think of attainable things (in my mind) as unattainable in theirs? I, as many others, have struggled with my weight and over the years. I’ve been up and down in pounds, and I know there have been times that I didn’t think it would be possible to be comfortable in my own clothes again. However, a simple change in my thoughts…. gave me the motivation to work towards my goal. Even though I came to a point that I thought age was getting the better of me, and there would be no way to take the pounds off as I got older…. I decided that this would not be my reality. It has never been easy for me to lose weight, but I know…. when I have just a few extra pounds on me that I also do not feel good… and when I don’t feel good…. I start to think negative thoughts… and my entire outcome of my goals and my perspectives all go down the proverbial toilet. I start to feel yucky in my clothes, I feel less outgoing, I become unhappy with my life, a have an overall feeling of depression. I know that I do not like this feeling….. and I also know that it is one of the most difficult states to change. I can change my job, I can buy new clothes, I can move to a new apartment, BUT…. when I’m feeling down I feel like I cannot do any of these things, and nothing seems possible.
So… back to my friends comment…. Do some people really limit themselves into thinking that they need to settle because it is not possible to attain things that others think are truly attainable? They must! BUT…. is it our society that teaches us to believe that? Are we taught that we need to settle or that we can do anything that we put our minds to? Well, in a sense I believe that I was taught anything is possible. I talk about my grandfather telling me at the age of 11 that I was my own person. I wasn’t like my mother or my father, I was my own person. From that I’ve always tried (not always successful, but I try), to make decisions that are best for me, and not ones that are influenced by what others think. When I wanted to move to Korea, I figured it out and I did it. When I wanted to buy my own condo, I figured out how to do it on my own. Instead of worrying, complaining, or disbelieving, I just did it.
We are the decision makers, we are the motivators, we have to be the reason that we succeed or fail. By saying that it is the influence in our society, it’s the same as saying… I don’t have enough time, money, or education to do something. It’s just an excuse. If you really want something, figure out how to get it… and do it! It may not be easy, and you may not succeed right off the bat, but if you don’t try…. you’ll never get there. If you want a different job, more money, to lose weight, more education, to learn a new skill…. Figure out a plan, and TRY!
As for me, although I’ve been successful in most things that I’ve wanted in my life, there is one area that I haven’t quite succeeded at. I have an amazing job, I take care of myself, pay for my own mortgage and car….. Now all of these things need work, but I feel like I’m in control of them…and of my success in them. BUT, the one thing that I’d truly like is a partner to enjoy it all with. This is one thing thing that I’ve struggled with, and it’s one thing that I’ve always believed to be out of my control. However….. From now on, I’m going to change this way of thinking. As much as I have worked towards making my personal relationship a priority, there has always been a part of my brain that has believed it was something that was out of my control. So…. from now on… I’m taking the power back… and deciding that I WILL have the relationship that I’ve been dreaming of… and it will no longer be a dream, it WILL become my reality.
What have you been dreaming of that you’d like to have as your reality? Lose weight, get a promotion, move to a bigger home, get married? If you’d like some support, or just someone to talk over your possibilities with… give me a shout! I love to help people reach their goals…