36

I’ll  start by saying that writing this feels all too much like another installment of Brigette Jones’s diary, but without the British accent and seemingly interesting British men…

So, I’ve recently turned 36, and it’s the first time in my life that I’ve become conflicted about my age.  36…. single….white …. female.. never married… no kids… It seems as though to many that I’ve failed at life due to this status. However, rare it might be to be single at my age and not have a previously failed marriage and kid to go along with, it is apparently in some dating scenes like finding a unicorn.  However, just like a unicorn…. no one ever really wants the unicorn once they’ve seen it…. determined it to be real, what’s the need to trap it and keep to yourself.  The idea of being 36 isn’t what gets to me, I don’t think.  It’s the idea of being 36 single and childless in the dating world that is so confusing that I can’t tell which way is up…is.

I like to think of myself as a bit of a free spirit following where ever the moment takes me, but the moments of direction are becoming fewer and less clear.  Just follow your gut, do what feels right, when it’s meant to happen it will…For many things in my life, this is what I’ve done.  I’ve set goals, but sometimes I wonder if they’ve set me.  I’ve made plans, but I’ve always had a sense that the plans were already there and I was just following/listening to them… Then people say, you just have to wait for the right time…. don’t worry you’re ‘young’ single educated and independent… any guy would be happy to have you…Then… you can’t just sit and wait….you just need more friends… just make your own life and have fun…. you have to do something… online dating… blind dates… meet people at the gym..join a club…. you need quantity to find the quality, it’s like a needle in a hay stack…Ahhhhhh  Dating SUCKS!!