A while ago we got the opportunity to attend an awards night where I was nominated for a Calgary Top Fitness Award as one of Calgary’s Top Yoga Instructors.
I don’t exactly know how the process worked, but I do know that a lot of people and studios were nominated for a variety of different awards and the top five were chosen in each category to be notified in the Top 5. I know that I was selected as one of the Top 5 Yoga Instructors nominated and the studio Oxygen Yoga and Fitness Braeside was selected as one of Top 5 Fitness Franchise studios in the city.
I was selected in the Top 5 of All yoga instructors nominated in the city. I’m still not quite sure I’ve wrapped my head around that. In one moment I think…. oh well…. there must not have been that many nominated… then I shake myself to remind myself to not down play this. No…. I didn’t win…. but… I was in the Top 5 in the entire city of all yoga instructors nominated and that’s pretty darn amazing.
I think maybe it was tough for me to wrap my head around this because I struggled last year. I struggled a lot in 2019. I don’t struggle with my teaching. That’s the one place that always feels like home. I know I do my best, I keep learning more, I do believe I get better as a result. But….I struggle personally. I struggle when I hear gossip. I struggle by taking things personally. I struggle with other people’s judgments of me or my classes. I struggle when I don’t see students returning to my classes. I struggle because of things that I’ve experienced in the past. Girls are not always nice, and I have experienced a lot of situations in my life where I’ve given things that never always came back to me in a good way. People can be mean, and although this is the world of yoga were we want to things to be good and positive, these thoughts from the past still make their way in to my mind. On the outside I’ve created a very strong exterior, but inside I can be sensitive and get hurt easily….. and I know when I get hurt…. I harden my outside a bit more and maybe even block people out. But… this is me. I’m not looking for pity or support….I’m not looking for advice or suggestions. I’m not looking to change who I am to make people happier. I know who I am, and I know I’m ok with this.
I’m looking for people to understand that not all people show who they are on the outside. Some people have hurt that they hold close to their hearts and your judgment of them might just cast more pain to a place you don’t even know. We are all people and we all have things going on inside that others don’t know about. We all have things going on inside that we may not even understand. So… Instead of being hurt or judging another because of their actions, try taking a moment to have compassion and maybe think about the things they don’t share. Then… Look around and see what you can appreciate.
Even though I struggled last year, I feel like I’m sitting in a place that is exactly right for me. I can look back and see where I’ve been and appreciate the lessons that I’ve learned from that time. Life is so funny in a way that sometimes it takes years to cycle to see patterns or change habits and routines. Then, once we can see these things we start to move into comfort, and I don’t mean that in a bad stale way…. I mean comfort in a way that we are comfortable with who we are and the decisions that we make. It’s when we get comfortable in our own body and in our journey to accept where we are with appreciation and grace.
I appreciated this event so much because I rarely get to get fancy and go out around Christmas. I don’t have fancy parties to go to, I don’t get invited to other special events, so this was my one event, my fancy night out and I couldn’t have done it, nor would I have wanted to do it with anyone other than the amazing lady who sat next to me and who has given me this amazing opportunity and supports me and cheers me on more than anyone could. I love her to bits and know this is just the beginning for us!
So… going forward in to this new year, my mantra is going to be one of understanding and acceptance. I will remember that others are like me and that many of them have things under the surface that I have no idea about. I will continue to support kindness over everything else. I believe that to be successful in the yoga world or any other world out there, that if Kindness isn’t the most important thing, than I’m not sure why we should be a part of it.
I’m going to sit in gratitude and focus on the support of all of the amazing people who have been on my path and continue to support me every single day. I’m grateful for this nomination, for this opportunity to grow, for experience, and for community. There are so many exciting things ahead of me this year that I can’t wait to share it all with all of you!
xoxox
Nicole